


After the war

by Aarashi



Category: One Piece
Genre: Ace Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Darkness, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Nakamaship, Post-Marineford, Post-War, Shirohige | Whitebeard | Edward Newgate Lives, Trust, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22187932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aarashi/pseuds/Aarashi
Summary: “I was happy,” he said without thinking.“What?”“When you came for me,” Ace mumbled, his eyes seeing the war and the pain, his ship and his crew. “I was happy that you came. For me.”
Relationships: Fushichou Marco | Phoenix Marco & Portgas D. Ace
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	After the war

**Author's Note:**

> So basically: Ace doesn't die in Marineford, neither does Whitebeard. The Whitebeard pirates return to the sea. They won the war, more or less. But Ace doesn't feel it that way.

The deck of the Moby Dick was a shelter of silence and silver rivers. The moon shined on the railing and played cheerfully in between the floorboards. It was a sight one got accustomed to, especially when they had sailed so much time aboard the ship. One never got tired of it, though.

It was a beautiful night.

The floorboards creaked as Ace approached to the railing and fixed his gaze in the horizon. It was dark enough not to see the fusion between the sky and the ocean. Both were black and huge, he would get lost if he went towards it. He thought about darkness and he had to ignore the chill that shook his entire spine. He forced himself to take a deep breath, without taking his eyes from the view. He remembered that the moon still shone, that there were lights on the Moby Dick. He glanced backwards; he knew Izo and Namur were in watch, Vista would probably be somewhere down there taking care of his sword, Jozu playing cards with Rakuyo and Curiel. Everyone and everything seemed in place, though a lot darker for his eyes.

Ace sighed and rubbed his face with a hand. Damn, he was tired. He had got out of the sick bay barely two days ago and only because he had insisted; if it were for the nurses, he would still be there. All the people on the ship had been happy to see him standing again, eating in the dining room with everyone else, and Ace was happy, too. He really was.

_Then, what the hell is wrong with me?_

Why was he there, thinking about war? Why did he still tremble at the mere sight of darkness?

“Thinking about leaving, yoi?”

Ace tensed, then immediately relaxed. Marco’s sandals drummed against the wood.

“No. Not really.” 

Ace leaned against the railing, eyes lost in the ocean. Marco stood next to him and stared at him.

“But you’ve thought about it.”

Ace didn’t deny it. Marco let out a soft sigh.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, but, you know…”

“I know,” Ace said in a low voice. Of course he knew.

Marco doubted, then decided to say nothing. He sighed again and turned to the ocean. Ace wondered if he also thought it was a dark view.

It probably was the first time since his return that he was facing the ocean that way, alone and with no sun to make things less terrifying. Although the crew had left him space, it was hard to find a moment of calm. Now that he had it, he was not sure he wanted it anymore.

His fingers drummed on the railing, as they were trying to find a escape route desperately. Marco was smiling without looking at him.

“Spit it out, Ace.”

Ace really wanted to, but he didn’t know how. He had been thinking about it during the last days. He had been thinking about it since he had woken up. He had been thinking about it since he had seen them arrive to the war, to rescue him from the war. And still, he really didn’t know how to say it. So he just clenched his fists and his jaw and whispered:

“It could have gone so wrong.”

“But it didn’t.”

“But it could,” Ace insisted, while he saw war again. And the fire and the blood and the darkness. “It could and… Luffy… the old man… y’all could have…”

“But we didn’t,” Marco said simply. He had fixed his eyes on Ace’s. Ace just stared. He didn’t know what to answer to that. It was as Marco had sealed the explosion of words that was about to come. Ace exhaled and muttered, lowering his head:

“I just would have not forgiven myself.”

“We wouldn’t have forgiven ourselves either, Ace,” Marco smiled without joy. “Sorry, but I don’t think you wanna have this conversation.”

Ace thought Marco was right. He didn’t want to talk about war anymore, though war insisted in pursuing him. He tried to think about something else, but he always ended up thinking about war. So he tried desperately to talk about something good about war, if such a thing existed.

“I was happy,” he said without thinking.

“What?”

“When you came for me,” Ace mumbled, his eyes seeing the war and the pain, his ship and his crew. “I was happy that you came. For me.”

Marco blinked. He seemed surprised by his words. He gave Ace a soft squeeze in the arm.

“Of course, idiot. It’s not like we would’ve let you die there, yoi.”

Ace smiled briefly, before becoming aware of darkness again. It was unfair, he thought. That even though he had faced darkness and survived (thanks to his family), darkness still remained, a black smoke that could not be erased so easily. Sometimes, if he closed his eyes, he saw it again, stopping him, eating him, defeating him. Putting his precious fire out and letting him empty and freezing and alone. In his nightmares, those he had at night, darkness won once again; in those dreams he had when the sun was up high and the voices of his crew reverberated in the ship, it came to chase him, but he could face it.

Because he was not alone anymore.

“Oh, I almost forget. Got something for you, yoi.”

Ace turned to him, surprised, while Marco picked something he had previously left on the deck.

“I thought that as we were near I could go take a look and see if I had luck… it was quite ruined and all, but I asked Izo to fix it… hope you still want to wear it, yoi.”

His hat, his old, orange and abused hat, was in Marco’s hands. The smiley face seemed happy to see him again. The angry one looked particularly angry.

“I also found your knife and _Striker_, by the way. The raft was pretty damaged, but Deuce is sure he can fix it, he’s already working on it, yoi.” Seeing that Ace was looking at the hat and saying nothing, Marco raised his eyebrows. “Well, if you don’t want it anymore it’s okay, I just thought that…”

“No, of course I want it! It’s just that…”

Ace didn’t end the sentence. He couldn’t take his eyes away of his hat. The hat he had been wearing when he had joined the Whitebeards, the hat he had lost when darkness took him away. Marco seemed to understand, because he smiled and said:

“It’s good to have you back home, Ace.”

Something broke inside him. His hands and legs were shaking. He thought he had forgotten about breathing. His body seemed to be giving up.

Ace supported his back against the railing and let himself fall until he was sat on the deck. He was trembling violently. He pressed one shaky hand on his face in a useless attempt to stop the tears. But these wouldn’t stop coming and burning his skin, cleaning the last spots of ashes and blood that remained after the war.

He heard Marco sighing while he squatted next to him.

“You don’t change, do you, yoi?” Marco said, a soft smile in his lips.

Ace wanted to tell him to shut up and to stick his phoenix’s peak into anyone else’s life, but all he did in the end was smiling. He had the feeling it wasn’t the first time they lived that moment.

When his body seemed to relax, all the tension released from his shoulders, Ace cleaned his face and accepted the hat from Marco. He put it on, closing his eyes before the familiar weight. Then he let it rest against his back.

Ace took a deep breath.

He hadn’t wanted to say it before, because he knew they didn’t need it, they didn’t want it, in fact; they didn’t want even to hear about it.

But Ace needed to say it.

“Thank you.”

He glanced at Marco, insecure about what he could find, but the commander had his eyebrows raised and a smile twitching his lips.

“For the hat?”

Ace laughed, and that laughed reverberated through all his body, last tears spilling. Marco put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes told Ace that he knew. Of course he knew.

“Yeah.” Ace smiled despite the darkness. “For the hat.”


End file.
